Geist by Chris Ward

Hi guys, I'm Chris Ward. I mostly don't do shit all day. I'm a little late to the party, but here's my version of Justin Aclin's Geist (apparently short for "Poltergeist," not "Brandi Geist," a girl that went to my school).

In it, I project my only fantasy I've ever had about the power to walk through walls: going into a women's locker room. If I were Geist, this is all I would ever, ever do. Try to stop me. You can't. I just go back through the wall while you're looking for a door. A close second would be phasing through turnstiles at Six Flags, because I hate turnstiles and have an irrational fear of something getting pinched in them. It also really bugs me that they only go one way, and this sets off my OCD something awful because a lot of my OCD quirks hinge on things doubling back the same way.

For example: if I get out of a car and walk around to the gas station pump, I need to walk the exact same way going back, and I even need to get back in the car a certain way. If I were Geist and I phased through a wall into a women's locker room, I'd need to double back the exact way I came. If you knew this about me, it would be the only way to catch me with a net. Also, I'm terrible at drawing naked women. When I was a child I would try to draw breasts and then I would furiously erase them and rip up the paper into a thousand pieces and swear I'd never do it again because I felt so ashamed. Although this isn't the sole reason I'm terrible at drawing breasts, it's got to be one of the reasons. I could never practice without the terrible guilt that came along with it.